Monday, July 22, 2019

Familiarity with Myself and the Community


Having a place to be and a community to connect with has made me feel better than I have in a long time.
            During the school year, I rarely enjoy socializing. I spend my day on campus and the majority of my free time in my bedroom. I’ve always thought that my career and academic goals took precedent, since they’re what I struggle with most. However, my social skills have atrophied over time and I find it difficult to talk to people I can’t readily relate to. When I do, I’m distracted, physically present but mentally elsewhere worrying about tasks I’ve not yet completed. Because I let my lack of executive functioning skills related to ADHD go unchecked for so long, I had fooled myself into believing that if I finish my task list now, I can build a healthy social life later. No one ever tells you that to-do lists never stop growing.
            Which is why the field school feels almost like a vacation to me. When I climb down into the trench every day, I feel like I’m a kid again, digging up treasures in the backyard. I always have dirt under my fingernails, on my pants, and just about everywhere else—and I couldn’t be happier. I get to mentally put down everything else going on in my life and zone in on my unit. I get to prove to myself that I am intelligent because of how fast I catch on to everything in the field. When I’m asked a question, I’m more ready to trust myself when an answer comes to mind. While I don’t always remember specific dates and times, I somehow remember all the little facts mentioned while we’re working. I don’t always understand how my brain works, but it’s incredible to feel like it’s working with me instead of against me.
            Though I have an extensive history of living and working in learning communities, I originally thought that the field school would be overwhelming. It’s been a while since I’ve been dropped in the middle of a team and community of people that I’m unfamiliar with.
I’ve actually found that being around this group of people all the time is uplifting. Though I still need some quiet time in my day, we all have so much in common that it’s easy to get along. I’m genuinely interested in learning about other people and building genuine connections—normally it would tire me out to talk to someone for so long. I don’t have to constantly be thinking of what to say or how to react. We all have somewhat similar worldviews. When they differ, I don’t feel like I have to take a defensive stance, nor am I over-worried about how I’ll come off. I just listen and make sure that if something comes to mind, I can note whether or not it’s worth contributing, and be kind and caring in the moment.
            The best part is, the community is so genuinely interested in what we have to say. Everyone so far has been generous and willing to help in whatever way they can. Usually I am entirely unable to talk to strangers, but since we all have common ground regarding the project to build off of, I can relax and go with the flow of the conversation. I can honestly say that I haven’t felt any social anxiety since the first day of orientation for the field school. Since then, the closest thing I’ve felt to anxiety was when my pit partner went home sick and I was left on my own to present during pit tours. Even then, I was confident enough in my ability to present our findings, and I’m told I did fine.
            All in all, becoming more familiar with this project and community has already helped me grow exponentially. I feel like I’m finally becoming the person that I’ve always wanted to be, and that I get to relax and be myself without passing or receiving judgement, even if I can be a little too honest sometimes.


From,
Maddie

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